About this Episode

It’s time for the year-end round table! Episode 57 on Foster Care, Adoption & the Church was a hit, so we are revisiting the theme of foster care, adoption, and the church while adding new voices. Our guests are Darren Freidinger, Amber Nelson, and Jessica Autrey, each has fostered and/or adopted children including special needs children and international adoptions. In this episode, we discuss ways in which churches and individuals can practically care for orphans and their families ensuring vulnerable children will grow up in loving families.

Our guests are here to share their experiences with the state, private adoption agencies, and churches. If you have ever considered adoption, this episode is a must! And if you haven’t ever considered adopting or fostering, this episode is still a must, as our guests are passionate advocates for children and want to see more placements in Christian homes.

If our guests cannot convince you to foster or adopt, you will still be given food for thought as we ask questions like: What do Christian anarchists think about the state being involved with vulnerable children? Is adoption easier through the state or private adoption agencies? How many families are willing and waiting to adopt children? Why are churches not ensuring children have healthy and safe homes? What can Christians do to help families rearing adopted children?

Connect with Jay:

Amber Nelson’s fan page

Episode Timestamps:

1:05 - Guest introductions

• Darren

• Returning guest from episode 57

• Popular episode with good response

• Two adopted daughters

• Fostering 3 younger children, waiting to begin their adoption processes

• Jessica

• Eight children, 3 are adopted from Ukraine in 2011

• Amber

• Music Teacher in public school

• Three sons

8:15 – How do we feel about the state being involved in child foster care?

• Craig: 

• Doesn’t like the state being involved in child protection

• Darren: 

• As bad as the situation is for children right now, the state made the right call on the girls in his care

• Christ following parents need to be involved

• The church could do better than the state

• Amber: 

• The children of addicts and mental health problems need better equipped helpers.

• Child safety is top priority

• As a schoolteacher, she saw that the caseworkers were so overwhelmed that referrals did not help suspected abused children

• Jessica: 

• Real cases fall through the cracks

• But when parents make decisions such as not vaccinating them, the state may become involved

• Wanted to adopt from her first child to ensure children had the love she wanted to give her son

• Saw a blog about the conditions of special needs orphans in Eastern Europe

• Special needs children are discarded

• Orphanage care is patchy, but especially terrible for special-needs children

• Experience in helping people with Downs Syndrome

22:09 – Roe v Wade

• When people are happy about the overturning, they should be willing to adopt kids

• It is easier to adopt children from other countries because the US government interferes

• It took Amber a year to get a license to adopt

• There are a lot of arbitrary rules that change between case-workers

• There are invasions of privacy while you foster

• The state is an obstacle to adoption

• There is a waiting list for adopting infants

• The children come with traumas

• Roe v Wade did not end abortion, just sent the decision back to the states

• It’s just politics

• Older children, sibling groups or those born with health issues face barriers to adoption

33:20 – Adoption and the church

• Why are churches not ensuring children have healthy and safe homes?

• Craig has never heard it in church

• When Amber has heard it is has been an addendum to the service

• The Baptist church sometimes runs training for foster parents

• There’s no sermons about it

• Darren’s experience in church has been hit-and-miss

• His church has a November adoption month

• Darren wants individuals helping families adopting children

• Babysit the children and let the parents go shopping

• Hang out with parents with eight children

• Have an adult conversation

• At least don’t judge or ask silly questions

• Amber had some good experiences of help from individuals

• Jessica has not seen adoption preached

• Christians helped Jessica to make the adoption process happen through donations

• Now attends a pro-adoption church

47:21 – Is the state still involved in private adoptions?

• Yes, there is paperwork and administrative processes

• Even privately there is a mountain of paperwork

• In Darren’s experience fostering through the state was easier

• But the state is involved to an intimate degree though

52:30 – What can individuals do to help families with adopted children?

• Jessica:

• Voice your support for families with adopted or fostered children

•  Tell them if you are praying for them

• Don’t give useless advice

• Do give hand-me-downs

• Just show up and play with the kids or give adult conversations

• Show up to fundraisers and get the word out

• Amber:

• Think about what the kids go through, then consider adopting

• Do laundry, that would help

• Darren:

• Agrees with Jessica and Amber

• Consider adopting or fostering

• The children need Christians

• Take someone a meal when they take charge of their children

• Take the kids to the park for an hour

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